back to vault.com

Vault Blog

Sign Up for Vault e-news

Vault's weekly Career Update for tips and tools to help you find and manage your ideal career.

Sheryl Sandberg: It's Okay to Cry at Work

by Cathy Vandewater
Published: Wednesday, March 13, 2013

So, crying at work. It's not like you ever plan for it to happen. But when it does, is it a career killer? Should it be?

Sheryl Sandberg doesn't think so. Here's what she had to say in an interview with Jezebel on the topic:

"Look, I'm not suggesting that the way to get to the corner office is to cry as much as possible. Nobody is going to publish the next Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and say that crying is one of them. But I am saying that it happens. It has happened to me. It has happened to me more than once. It will happen to me again. It happens to other women. Rather than spend all this time beating ourselves up for it, let's accept ourselves. OK, I cried, life went on. And I think that's part of the message of Lean In, like we are human beings, we are emotional beings and we can be our whole selves at work."

Crying: it happens. But what do you do if it happens to you?

A few quick tips for managing tears while keeping your dignity intact:

1. Accept that it happened and move on

Your reaction to The Event will give everyone else their cues on how to handle it.

If you act like it was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen, others will cringe as well. But if you shrug and say, "I'm human, it happens," and move on… that's what everyone else will do too.

2. Make it about the issues at hand

Chances are you're crying because you didn't get enough sleep, you're overworked, something stressful is going on in your personal life, and this is what put you over the edge. But feel free to keep that to yourself in the event of tears. Instead, refocus on the work issue as quickly as possible: "I'm really frustrated that the numbers aren't adding up here," for example—and not your reaction to it. You'll shift the focus off of you while also defuse your emotional state… and get everyone else talking about the project again.

3. Show empathy to others who are upset

This doesn't mean you should hold impromptu therapy sessions in your office. Just show others kindness in the event of emotional upsets, and don't treat it like a huge, embarrassing deal. Simply passing someone a tissue and asking if they'd like to take a moment will help foster an environment of acceptance and maturity in your workplace. Much more so that avoiding eye contact and looking mortified. And you'll see that karma come back around the next time you need a Kleenex on the job.

--Cathy Vandewater, Vault.com

Read More:
Stressed? Be Kind to Your Coworkers
Can Sheryl Sandberg Break Up the Old Boys' Club?
Is Yahoo Right to Ban Working From Home?

http://blogs.vault.com/blog/workplace-issues/sheryl-sandberg-its-okay-to-cry-at-work/

Vault welcomes your views. Please stay on topic and be respectful of other readers. Review our User Guidelines.

blog comments powered by Disqus
X

Comments Policy

Vault.com encourages you to express your opinions and engage in discussions with one another by leaving comments on our site. While we promote an open forum, please follow these guidelines to ensure an enjoyable and welcoming environment for all our readers. Vault.com does not review or moderate all comments but we reserve the right to remove or edit content once posted.

Respect one another. Debates are great, but attacks are not. Please refrain from posting offensive, obscene, threatening or abusive comments. If you personally attack other readers or writers, your comment(s) and responses to those comments may be removed from the discussion. Attacks create a hostile environment that discourages discussion. You are fully responsible for libelous or defamatory comments.

Hate-speech will not be tolerated. Comments containing racism, homophobia, sexism, or any other form of hate-speech have no place on our site.

Keep your language in check. Vulgar posts may offend other readers. Our filters are fairly tolerant, allowing for quite a bit of colorful/questionable language, but too many obscenities may prevent a comment from posting. In addition, in some cases, if a post is still too vulgar, a moderator may later remove or edit it.

Please note that comments may be edited by the moderator for any reason, including but not limited to language.

Stay on topic. Comments should be related to the topic discussed in the associated article or blog post. In order to keep the conversation relevant, off-topic comments may be edited or removed.

Don't impersonate someone else. You may not use a false e-mail address, impersonate any person or entity, or otherwise mislead as to the origin of your comments. If we believe you've impersonated someone else, we reserve the right to remove the comment.

Spam and commercial content will be removed. We do not welcome comments containing copy used for commercial purposes or for soliciting funds. If we see them, we reserve the right to remove them.

Readers may "report" concerns about other reader comments. Please use the "Report Abuse" link to flag inappropriate content. If a reader reports a concern, moderators will try to review that concern as soon as possible. This may take a few days although we hope to review comments more quickly. We do not remove every comment that has been reported and we cannot respond individually to every report.

Stop and think before you comment. We won't remove comments because a reader or writer regrets a post. Please remember that these comments are searchable and a comment history has a long life on the web.

Don't include personal information in your comments. We strongly discourage readers from posting personal information about themselves (ex. address, telephone number, workplace) and reserve the right to remove any comments we find with personal information about other people or that violates a third party's right to privacy.

Complaints about removed comments. We reserve the right to remove comments left to protest a removed comment. Please contact us if you have any complaints about deleted comments.

Repeated abuse of our guidelines may lead to commenting privileges being suspended. If you think you've been banned by mistake, let us know.

For further questions and comments regarding commenting on Vault.com, please contact us.

connect with us